Dysmorphia
Dysmorphia. For years, the way my body appeared to my mind was distorted. My sense of self worth was tied to a belief that if I could just look a different way, I would be worthy, valuable, loveable and safe.
Flexibility and Dancing with new Variables
Sand. Grass. Carpet. Mat. Snow. Changing the surface upon which we practice Hatha Yoga provides our brains with new learning experiences.
PRATYAHARA: The Yoga of Putting Your Externally Focused Mind on Airplane Mode
We use our senses all day long to be able to relate to the external world. But what happens if we bring our senses inwardly, to the world held inside of our skin? Doing so is what Patanjali named Pratyahara. This is the fifth limb of eight which make up a full yoga practice.
I Used to Dread Meditation
Meditation and me. Not always the best of friends… to say the least. When I first encountered meditation, I could barely close my eyes without feeling instantly overwhelmed. It’s taken me, and I’m not kidding, almost two decades to crave it.
Follow up…Semantics Are Everything.
As the saying goes, if I had a dollar for every time I said or thought, “I am terrible at meditation”, I might be rich, BUT I would still be locked in a story which would make the experience of a calm mind, ever elusive. So despite monetary riches, I would not perhaps not be as happy as I could be.
Remember Her
So this is me, in the hat I wore everywhere, in every season, about the age my daughter is now.
I was fortunate in my childhood; I was loved and I was safe. I know that this is not a guarantee for all children. Because I had this, I had an unfettered time before self-consciousness, self-doubt and self-deprecation took root in my mind. When I look at this photo, I know this little girl had not a moment’s hesitation about putting that outfit together and leaving the house. Story goes, outfits like this happened often the summer my mom was in summer school and my dad left me to my own devices.
Fork In The Road
I have energetic holding patterns, in my mind and in my body, that are familiar. I have a strong sense of self generated in relation to these holding patterns. I create my ME with a story that runs through my mind on repeat, and that sometimes spills out of my mouth as words that I use to describe myself to others.
This story effects how I stand and how I breathe, how I make choices, and how I experience the world around me.
Some parts of the story, others gave to me long ago, before I new how to filter and decide my own truths. Other parts of the story I created myself.
Truths
Thoughts create our realities and are the causes of all the physical and verbal actions we take. Given that most of us aren’t totally sure what exactly thoughts even are…. It is always amazing to me how much authority we give the thoughts and beliefs that float through our own minds. We assume they are correct without even knowing what they are.
